Just yesterday, one of my closest, oldest, and dearest friends asked me for advice about a new weight loss venture that she was about to undertake. She's been on the weight loss roller-coaster for over 25 years now - up, down, round and round, and like many she just can't seem to get it right.
As with the chronic dieters before her, she has tried everything, and just like those same yo-yo-ers, nothing has worked. Yet despite the pain and suffering that she puts herself through, she continues to try and shed the fat, hoping that one day, she will eventually find that magical concoction of diet and exercise...
What my poor friend is yet to realize, is that this concoction doesn't exist. This particular weight loss program that she wants to start is no different from the others. Change the way you eat, and change the way you move it proposes. It's the same everlasting prescription that has permeated our society as the cure for weight loss. But despite its logic and common-sensical approach, this eat less/move more mantra leads most people into a dark, deep, and never ending spiral of accumulating fatness.
So I was left with a dilemma. Do I crush my friends hopes, even before she starts? Do I tell her the facts and show her the hard evidence that dieting and exercise simply doesn't work?
I contemplated the consequences and came to the conclusion that I shouldn't do that. Instead, I decided to tell her the one thing that has helped more people lose weight than anything else in my 9 years of coaching. The one piece of advice, the one "magic bullet", that I have used time and time again to help people with their body composition. And that one piece of advice is simply this:
"Find and do something that you enjoy"
This simple, yet intellectually challenging piece of advice works because it doesn't focus on changing the way you eat or changing the way you move. Alternatively, it focuses on WHY you eat and WHY you move, or in this particular case, why you don't move.
When you get down to the core root of overeating (gluttony) and sedentary behavior (sloth), there are three significant factors that come into play. They are stress, unhappiness, and boredom. I will say, that although these factors do not cover the whole story, 80% of your problems will most likely come from them.
Here's why:
Boredom: Boredom is your brains desire to find something interesting, novel, pleasurable, or simply something that will occupy your mind. The two most common short term boredom fixes are food and T.V. Both hit the pleasure centers of the brain with beautiful accuracy, providing that all important high that we all desire. When your bored then, snuggling up in front of your favorite t.v show whilst nibbling on some delightful munchies seems like a fantastic and likely idea.
Unhappiness: Unhappiness results from a dis-satisfaction with one or many aspects of your life. It could be anything from relationship difficulties to a sense of discontent with your job. Whatever the cause, food is one of the primary drugs that distracts us from this reality. Unhappiness also leaves us de-motivated, which often sends us into a plight of slothful sitting, usually in front of the T.V or computer.
Stress: There are two types of stress - good stress and bad stress. Bad stress streams into our lives in a plethora of ways - emotional stress, financial stress, relationship stress, physical stress, mental stress...the list goes on. However, no matter what the stress, if it's in the bad category then the message that comes from your brain and body is the same - "Eat More, Move Less", or in other words "be as gluttonous and slothful as possible please".
These three factors are significant influencers when it comes to behaviors like gluttony and sloth. Now most peoples solution is simply, "Stop being a glutton and a sloth!". But that doesn't work people! Instead you need to try and look at the factors which lead to gluttony and sloth and then limit or eliminate them. The easiest way to do that is to "Find and do something that you enjoy".
Here's why:
Boredom: When you find and do something that you enjoy you have an instant cure for boredom. Your brain is engaged, time drifts by, and you feel good. There is less desire to eat and sit down because you are too busy doing something that you actually want to do.
Unhappiness: Things that we enjoy doing make us happy. When we are happy we are more active and we have more life for life. We still seek food for comfort and nourishment, but not constantly like we do when we are unhappy.
Stress: Doing something that you enjoy is inherently stress relieving. For a short period of time it takes your mind away from your perceived stresses and it engages you in something that is invigorating and re-energizing. Even if the activity is challenging, this is a good stress, which is medicine for the mind.
The power of finding and doing something that you enjoy runs deeper than what I have said here, but it's a good start nonetheless. Sloth and gluttony are not a product of your willpower like many weight loss experts will tell you. They are product of boredom, unhappiness, and stress.
So I ask you - What do you enjoy doing? What have you always wanted to do? What activities excite you, and make you feel alive? This does not have to be something that "burns calories", in fact it may be better if it's not. Maybe you like to read and want to join a book club. Maybe you've always wanted to learn to play the guitar. Maybe you like to laugh and tell a joke, and a comedy club is for you. Whatever it is just keep this in mind -
"Find and do something that you enjoy"
In the end this was the one piece of weight loss advice that I gave my dear friend. I told her to take the time, money, and effort that she would put into the weight loss program, and to put that towards something that she enjoyed instead. I couldn't promise that she would lose weight, but either could the weight loss program. And I knew that my one piece of advice would at least leave her with one positive outcome at the end. She would finally be doing something that she enjoyed.
And at the end of the day I said,
"Isn't that what life is really all about?"
Conor Hughes [http://conorhughes.ie/] is a performance coach specializing in fitness, wellness, accelerated learning and longevity. He can be found and contacted at his website [http://conorhughes.ie/].
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